When making men....

I remember vividly what these streets did to me. So picture me letting these clowns nitpick at me - paint me like a "pickaney" (pickney)..."

- Jay-Z
"What More Can I Say!"


I have been working with youth for quite some time now, and a conversation that I had with one of my students put me in a reflective state. This particular student was serving the last few days of his In-School Suspension stay for some poor decisions he made in class the past week. As an additional assignment, I had him read an article about domestic abuse in the black family. After reading the article, I had the student write a reflection and discuss his ideas with me. In his summation of the main point of the article he expressed that black men that commit acts of domestic violence and abuse, typically do so from a baseline of low self esteem. After reading the article, the young man began to piece together the information conveyed in the article with the decisions that he had made in class. Typically for an educator this would be the moment when a little part of you wants to run around the room shouting like the woman that always seemed to lose her damn mind "catch the Holy Ghost" at the same time every Sunday back at my home church.

Why?

Because for a brief moment He got it!

Now don't for a second get it twisted...I in no way assume that this student's one moment of personal epiphany will materialize into some immediate, longlasting change of behavior. His realization will most likely not turn him into an instant success story. This moment is merely a doorway - a doorway that, if taken, can lead him toward self awareness. It will lead him to a knowledge of self that is too often left untouched by young black men - particularly those who live and breath in the war zones that we sometimes mistake for neighborhoods and streets.

*And please call off the "everybody and everything ain't bad/there's some good in the hood" dogs! I am well aware of the fact that not everyone in the hood is a blood thirsty psychopath with a drug cartel, a gang membership card, 10 illegitimate children spawned from 10 separate, but nonetheless, unstable relationships, and a deferred dream of being a rap star/athlete/president(felt good throwing that shit in there)/kingpin ("my nigga" - insert Frank Lucas voice here.)/sex addict(Shout out Eric Benet!).*

Knowledge of oneself should never be mistaken for an awareness of one's situation or circumstance. Black boys and girls from tough neighborhoods and backgrounds are all to aware of their situations. What they many times lack is an understanding of what they truly need to be successful. We (I feel it is better to use "we", because I came up the same way most inner city black youth come up. I had to learn the same lessons - shit, I am still learning.) have to gain an understanding of what it is that we need to grow. We have to begin to question what makes us respond in the ways that we do.

We must all realize that our reactions to life's situations are many times rooted in a our own self-image. Contrary to popular belief, young men have just as many issues with self-esteem and body image as young women; they just react to their issues differently. Unfortunately, in many cases, they react with violence. Black boys with poor self-image become black men with poor self-image; many times still reacting to their issues with the safe methods. We have to begin to help our young men and women learn to love themselves - something I think about when with my son often.

So, if you get an opportunity to help, mentor, or just talk to a young black boy or girl, check and see how they feel about themselves foreal and then act accordingly!

Get Free.Get Love.Get Love for self!!!